Ahh, yes. Sorry about that last post. Boy troubles. I can't say what though. Meh.

I should be writing my essays because I have one due next Monday and one due next Friday, but I keep getting distracted. Uni will be over for the year in a few weeks, then I have an exam, and then it'll be the holidays, and I keep thinking about the summer and what I'm going to do and it's keeping me from concentrating on my work.

What if I didn't go back to uni next year? What if I got a flat and a job instead? Some of my friends are moving here next year so I won't be alone anymore, and so I don't want to leave the city, but I just don't feel up to another year of school. It's no use, anyway, because I'll just fail again and all I'll have to show for uni is a massive student loan.

Ahhh, so anyway. I should go. Essays to... think about. :)

crap

crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.

Suuuunlight over me no maaaaatter what I do

did you listen to the song I linked in my last post? :-)

I bet you didn't :-)

hey I'm getting a haircut today! for the first time in 8-9 months. I found a place just down the terrace which will cut it for $40 which is twice as much as what I paid in Fielding but it's better than like $80 at Ralph Lauren so~

and hopefully that means they're decent hairdressers.

before my haircut (so at 10am when I deem it appropriate to leave my room) I'm going to go shopping (again!) because when I have money I insist on wasting it on clothes, books and DVDs instead of saving it. I need new clothes because I've put on weight yay and the full length jeans I bought in England barely fit me anymore. Whenever I wear them I get this horrible pain because they cut into my tummy. I wore them to the Dylan Moran gig and almost died on the way home. I actually had to undo the button :| So now I only have one pair that fits and they're not full length and they're too bright; I need dark coloured jeans. Which means spending another $50 or so and money's getting tight.

Sorry I don't know what this post is it's pretty pointless I'm just killing time.

the title is from The Shrine/An Argument by Fleet Foxes. it's good. go listen :)

though I know it's small, I want love for us all.

I have bought way too many books lately.

Monday:

• The Talisman, Stephen King & Peter Straub (Whitcoulls, $28)
  
• A Game of Thrones, George R R Martin (Whitcoulls, $20)
  

Tuesday:

• White Fang & Call of the Wild, Jack London (Vicbooks, $15)
  
• The Skinny Louie Book, Fiona Farrell (Vicbooks, $13)
  
• American Gods, Neil Gaiman (Mightyape, $12)
  

Wednesday:

• Mockingjay, Suzanne Collins (Marbecks, $22)
  

buying books is so addictive though! And add these to the five or so others I already have and I've got a lot of reading ahead of me, especially since three of them are 800+ pages.

Today was a good day. Woke up at 10, went out to JB Hi Fi and bought season 4 of Desperate Housewives, was whistled at on the street, went to my Roman History lecture at 1 with Helena then walked to the supermarket with her afterwards. I didn't do a lot in the lecture, just sat and listened to Impossible Soul. I really implore you to listen to at least the first four minutes of this 25 minute song. I want to know what you think; it's one of my favourites.

"Seems I got it wrong, I was chasing after something that was gone / To the black of night, now I know it's not what I wanted at all / And you said something like, "All you want is all the world for yourself" / But all I want is the perfect love / Though I know it's small, I want love for us all."

And that's it, really... :)

Just a wee update, nothing special... so I went to sleep at 2pm again yesterday, but this time I slept until 11pm, got up and watched an episode of Desperate Housewives, then slept again from 12.30-5am. Much better!

Today I'm going to do some washing, hopefully go to all my classes (I have 3, I think :| ), listen to Sufjan Stevens a lot and maybe get a haircut, because I'm desperately in need of one.

Oh dear, I've done it again! Yesterday I was in the Kelburn campus bookstore killing some time before my essay results arrived (B-, by the way!) and I somehow convinced myself to buy two more books... One is a collection of Jack London stories, including White Fang and Call Of The Wild. I left my copies at home (and they're much nicer too, all blue and pretty, while this one is one of those black penguin classics with a scary illustration on the front). The other book is called The Skinny Louie Book. It's by Fiona Farrell, a New Zealand author. All up it was only $28, which was nice!

Hmm. So I haven't actually been to a lecture in like six weeks? Oops. I'll try harder to get there today. Stayed up all night again. I got home yesterday at about 1pm, went to bed at 20 to 2 and slept until 9pm, and now it's 7am and I've been up 10 hours. This really can't be good for me.

Don't read this; it's long and boring!

Just sitting in the library... bit bored and all. Hmm. I was supposed to be meeting my friend Helena at 12 but she texted and said she couldn't come, so now the only reason I'm here (besides my lecture at 1, which I don't think I'll be going to now that Helena's not) is to pick up an essay at 2. I've already got one essay back today and I'm quite angry about it... I mean at myself, because the fact that I failed is my fault. My mark was bought down from a 62 to a 45 because I turned it in late, so I got a fail instead of a B-. Totally my fault. Otherwise it was an average essay. But the other one will hopefully be better, god I hope I passed.

Dad replied to an email I sent him saying that his girlfriend, who works for the government (in some way I don't know of) says to check with Government Services in Wellington to see if they have jobs. So that's three options now: the government, a supermarket or something else in Wellington. Our e-mail s are always three line things with a couple kisses at the end. As I'm sure most of you know my parents are divorced (oh, woe is me!), and my dad and I don't talk much. Still, he says I can come and visit him in the holidays... might as well right? He's getting along in years and his cholesterol's pretty bad. Then again I'll probably have to stay with my dear Auntie Sam, since he's broke and now lives in a one bedroom apartment. That'll show him, spending every night at the pub and living in freaking central Auckland.

Hm, I like it on this floor. Level 7, a quiet floor, lots of bookshelves. I'm at a table facing a window. It's pretty yucky outside... and it poured when I was waiting for the bus to come up here. It was madness.

I'm sorry this post is a bit long. You don't have to read it. It's drivel really. I just have some time to kill. I think after this I'll go to the campus bookstore or something. I can't really afford to buy another book but one of those $13 Penguin Classics with the lovely orange covers can't hurt, right? And then I'll see how busy the Hunter Lounge is. It's probably packed, since it's all grey and drizzly outside.

I didn't sleep last night. For the past week it's been 5am bedtime, up at 3pm, 5am bedtime, up at 3pm... so I decided to right that and pull an all-nighter. I've been up since 3 yesterday afternoon (20 hours and counting). I'm really tired but I have a V by my side and I should make it til 4pm. Then I can sleep until midnight. That's what I do. It's the only way I can be up in time for classes, if I wake up at 3am or something. The only problem is that all the nearest shops are shut and breakfast doesn't begin until 7am, and I'm not really a breakfast person.

Did I say this floor was quiet? Nope. The pipes are making an obscene amount of noise.

That's a cool story, Rosie! Tell it again?

Time to go.

xx

New things and new plans.

Bought these two books today! - The Talisman, by Stephen King and Peter Straub, and A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin. The latter's been turned into this amazing TV show so I had to buy the book, which was only $20. I had a nice surprise yesterday when I looked at my bank account. Studylink gave me a large back payment from my student allowance, so I decided to spend some of it.

At the back of my mind lately has been what I should do during the summer holidays. It probably deserves a front seat, but I shoved it to the gloomy end of the room where I don't have to look at it. I'm supposed to find a job and a place to stay, and I have two options so far:

• stay in Wellington, where work and accommodation is easier to find, but miss out on a lot of stuff back home (New Years probably).
  
• stay in Fielding, where there's the possibility of a job and board with one of my mum's friends, and be closer to my friends.

The second is definitely looking better right now. The possible job is at the Woolworths in town. I'd have to stay in Feilding though because my mum won't be able to drive in for work from home. It's a lot to think about and obviously I have to make a decision soon, or all the good spots are going to go. For the second plan I'm counting on one of my best friends to get me a job and while I'm sure she'll come through, I'm not so sure about my chances. I don't have a very good resume (although you probably don't need one to stack shelves in a supermarket...).

So there's that. But of course I have to finish the year at uni first. Pass my exam and other tests, etc etc. It'll all be over by October 31st...

new journal!

I bought a new journal yesterday! It was five dollars from the Whitcoulls down the road :D I've already made a start on it but of course I've ripped out three pages already because I 'ruined' them. Ahh. So picky.


this is the inside front cover. ignore my slightly crazy eyes.


today I made what was probably a bad decision- spent $22 at the supermarket, partly on a magazine (which had a harry potter poster inside!). Soo that's $40 gone in two days and $10 left. great.

my list book

I've decided to stop using this blog for dumb anecdotes and whining, and instead use it for what some people call "proper blogging".

So I'm sitting at my desk, it's 2.15 in the morning, I'm strung out on 1.4 litres of coke and a packet of toffeepops and I'm wondering what to do with my time on the internet. My eyes wander and fall upon this:


This is, simply put, the best journal I've ever owned. I bought it at a bookstore on Auckland's North Shore, while my dad waited (a tad impatiently).
I love it because I'm a journal snob, and this was the perfect purchase. It was $13, I think. The lines are perfectly spaced, the design is simple, the inside covers are a vibrant pink (though I covered them up with images I found on deviant.art):

pink! god, I was a bit odd back then.

(sorry about the bad quality; my webcam is crap).
The very first thing I wrote in this journal was a detailed list of all the crap I'd bought in Auckland (I was there on holiday with my sister, visiting my dad). At the bottom of the page is evidence of my terrible math. First it's $226 total, then $227, then $231. I think I gave up at that point and used a calculator.

I bought this journal in 2008, on Saturday the 12th of July. I know this because as well as using the front of the book for lists, I turned the back into a travel diary. There's an index, too and, oh! the first 80 pages are numbered. Hello, everyone, I'd like to introduce you to 15 year old me- the me who indexed and numbered her journals.

Also in the travel diary section are accounts of:

1. A dog show I went to in Taupo, 1st-2nd November, 2008
2. The Kawhatau Base tramp, 18th-20th May, 2007 (copied from a diary before I threw it away)
3. Westwood Camp, 11th-17th January, 2009
4. My stay in Christchurch with my Aunt, 13th-17th July, 2009
5. Vinegar Hill Camp, 3rd-8th October, 2009.

I also had an account of our camp at Mangaweka, January 2010, but I lost it when I moved to Wellington (along with months worth of other stuff- worst thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm still not entirely convinced that my sister didn't take it).

Further back is a list I made for Vinegar Hill:


There's also a list of music I wanted to download, demonstrating my music taste in 2009:

good taste, y/y?

and a list of what I got for Christmas that year, too:

all people ever bought me (and still buy me) are art supplies and books.

The reason why I wanted to post all this is because at some point I fell out of touch with my list-making, journal-keeping self, and I think that's sad. Since this journal is full I think I need to find another (and it has to be fabulous).

God, it's 2.30 now. I should go to bed....

but I won't :)

x