It's me again

And I am so, so, fucking angry.

Mum just got back from five hours away in Otaki, and the first thing she does it yell at me.

Me: Hi mum!
Mum: Why didn't you answer the phone?!
Me: ...
Mum: I rang the WORK phone, the HOME phone, YOUR cell phone, TORI'S cell phone and HANNAH'S cell phone, and then I TEXTED everyone and NO ONE ANSWERED!
Me: I didn't know
Mum: Of COURSE you fucking didn't! Where have you BEEN? You were supposed to be looking after the OFFICE!
Me: >:| I've been here for ages checking in people who CAME OUT OF HOURS.

Then she left. And then she came back and

Me (cheerful): Hi Mum.
Mum: Who rang?
Me: Hi Mum!
Mum: Did anyone ring?
Me: Not really
Mum: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: Hi Mum!

And then she leaves again.

I don't know what's wrong, but I CANNOT seem to be able to have even a simple conversation with her these days. She ignores me all the time and when I try to talk to her she's all grumpy and tells me to fuck off cause she's busy. What did I do?

>:|

It CAN'T be because I didn't go to the beach. She never wants to go anywhere with me anyway. Fucking hell. No wonder I'm so bloody stressed.

You made me do it.

I wear too much black, apparently, so here is a lot of green. I don't really mind; I quite like green.

But because I'm in a black mood anyway, I'm going to complain about something.

Youtube sensations. You know the kind; Ray William Johnson, Shane Dawson, Smosh, Justin Beiber (*gags*). My sister has been playing their videos all day, and I am sick to death of "Shanaynay". It's not even funny! Stupid YouTube with its stupid people commenting stupidly on stupid things. They should all die of stupid.

I wish I had a milkshake. The McDonalds kind. I also wish I lived in Fielding. Sanson is boring as shit and I hate the school bus.

Anyway.
So I didn't start reading The Cider House Rules or The Stand. I instead started reading The Penguin History of New Zealand (by Michael King), a freely issued textbook for my History class. It's very interesting. I never knew that it was possibly possible that people in Asia could see the Taupo explosion. I also found out that it took 100 years (or, when in comparison to other places, two seconds) for people to properly colonize New Zealand, while it took America 400 and Europe 2000. I can't think of a "just goes to show" statement, but it is pretty damn cool.

I think that's everything.
Au revoir :<

The Middle

So, I finished Perfume (Patrick Suskind). Holy SHIT. HOLY shit. It is seriously the weirdest fucking book I've ever read. Do you like 10,000 person orgies? What about cannibalism? Murder? Gross smells? If you answered yes, read this book.

What to read next? I can't decide between The Cider House Rules and The Stand. Hmm.

Beautiful song, beautiful.

She tied you to the kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah..

I wish I could write songs like that.

Ooh, listen to this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ7ZvxXvn90

It is very, very good for positivity. When I feel stressed, or angry, or just plain sad, I listen to it because the lyrics make me feel better. It's the top song on my iTunes playlist.

The first ten are:

1. The Middle: Jimmy Eat World
2. Closer: Joshua Radin
3. New Shoes: Paolo Nutini
4. Drumming Song: Florence And The Machine
5. Hallelujah: Jeff Buckley
6. She's A Genius: Jet
7. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go: Wham! (this is one of my guilty pleasures. Srsly, it's so happy!)
8. Open Happiness: Brendon Urie, Patrick Stump, Travis McCoy, Cee-Lo Green, Butch Walker (this one is my sister's fault. Sometimes she doesn't change from my iTunes to hers).
9. Dog Days: Florence And The Machine
10. Beautiful Mess: Jason Mraz

I'm a muddle today. My posts lately have been more like this. I mean, random facts about octopi? Wtf? At least I made you laugh, Keryn! :D

I guess that's all for now. Adieu!

Disease. Plus facts about octopi.

Feels like I made a mistake

I think I did. Not a huge one, but one to learn by, all the same.

I made somebody's heart break

That line's a bit strong... but I did hurt someone. I'm sorry.

Now I have to let you go

I do

I have to let you go

I will

I've got a disease

Trying to talk to me wont work; my mind's made up. I'm just stubborn like that.

'Disease' is by Matchbox Twenty, my favourite band. I've twisted the lyrics a teeny bit to make them fit.

Anyway. All that aside, I actually had a pretty good day. I did learn my lesson though; next time I will make sure I wear jeans that actually enable me to breathe.
Last period of the day was study, which was great because I managed to get half my Geography homework done, so yay me.

I have finally figured out what I'll be doing with my life. I will leave school, move to Asia, and become a monk. Wouldn't that be cool? I could live in the mountains and sleep on hay and ride eagles or whatever it is they do. So long as the robes are grey, I'm there.
After a few years of this, I think I'll find some sort of cave and isolate myself from the human world, make friends with birds and eat plants, build myself a little life out of sticks and tree sap.

Wait... no. That wont work. I don't think monks have internet. I guess that means that my second option of becoming Amish also will not work.

What, then?

I would also like to address something to my blogmates. I have been reading the things that you put on here, and I want to let you all know that I love you guys to bits :) Everything will get better one day, I promise. Big hugs from me <3

I want to keep writing, but there's nothing to write about. Oooh hey, you know what's really cool? Octopi.
Yeah, you didn't see that coming, did you?
Did you know...
- Octopi have no bones. The only thing resembling a bone is its beak, which is actually more like human fingernails, only much more lethal because
- Octopus bites are poisonous.
- Octopi have feet on their heads. Yeah, I don't quite know about that one, either.
- They're also quite small. The largest can be up to 15kg. I thought they were huge! Kind of like squid. Squid are weird, though. I'd rather have an octopus as a pet than a squid.

Oh well. Time to go. I think I'd better go do the rest of my Geo homework soon :(

Ta ta :<

Let me emphasise once again

That whoever invented life is a fucking moron. Yeah. Fuck you very much, douchebag.

Oh yeah, and so fucking WHAT if I have "commitment issues"? My life, my decisions. Don't try to change my mind. I am a stubborn, indecisive, bitch, I know. I know.

I do.

I don't want to hold back in writing this blog, but with all you guys reading it I feel like I have to. There are just some things I wouldn't write here, though I wish I could. It is a good place to vent, though. I like venting. The internet accepts my venting.

I'm going to wait. I swear, I'm going to wait.

Look at these photos. They're beautiful, right?





Black and white is beautiful. That's why life isn't.

Life is fine and dandy... Sort of.

My god what a tiring day!

I don't know why, but I ended up watching four episodes of Skins Season 1 last night, which means I fell asleep at around midnight. I woke up, as per usual at 6.30AM, yet didn't actually get up till half past seven, and only because my sister came in and told me it almost time to go.

Ah well. I am able, thank god, to be ready for school in 20 minutes. So yay.

Thank god also that I remembered today's the day (for teddy bears to get their picks nicked!) for stationery shopping and for locker allocations. As it was, I was the last in my group class to get a locker even though I was the first into the corridor to choose mine. Bloody year 12s, I blame them! And also Matt for pushing in. Grr.

Signed out at half past two, walked to the dairy for a drink, caught the bus home.

Mum and co. are off to the beach tonight (Tangimoana yet again) but I think I'm gonna stay home. Mum threatened to drag me to the car, but I reckon she'll give in. She always does.
I'm waiting for someone to get on MSN. GET ON. GO. No, scratch that. I WAS waiting. Now it is too late and will have to wait till later.

Ah yes, she has just left without me! I told you I'd win. Go me. She did say there'd be a "colossal punishment" when she gets back, but I do not care, not one bit, no sir. Whatever she dishes out she will forget in less than a day, so all good.

There is nothing much else, really. I have almost finished Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer. It's a bloody good book, so this will soon be something to cross of my list.

Tatty bye! Time to eat dinner and then start on Skins Season 2 :D

TEENAGEANGSTGRAAAWWR.

I am confused.

Also angry.

I have two really shit teachers for classes this year. I still don't know who is in my study period. We are doing shakespeare instead of a novel in English (first time ever; every year so far I've been lucky enough to be in the classes that do film and novel). We moved group classes, and this means I am out of A Block for the first time in four years. I do believe that change is good, and it is beneficial, but I don't like this change (it's all your fault Chrissy! XD).

A lot happened today, and I wont go into it all, but I will say that I must be the most impatient yet indecisive person I know.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a little better (and Mrs Berg wont kill me. I know she wants to).

xx