Stayed home from last day of school today, because Mum needed help to get stuff for our holiday ready. It was probably a bad decision, since now I'm trouble cause I missed out on the last period we had in Geo to finish our internal, and, since Mrs Jeffreys is my sister group teacher she apparently had a nut about it. I was obviously going to fail it anyway, though. There's no way i could have done an evaluation, half my conclusion and two pages of other shit in 50 minutes.
Hm. So, bag is almost packed, just need to gather in my stuff from the latest load of washing and find some other stuff and then I'm sweeet, duude.
Right, down to business. It seems that Alex thinks that our group is a dictatorship.
Some people are "afraid to speak out".
You want to know what's going on? ASK. You think you're excluded on purpose from certain things? YOU'RE NOT. If there's anything you're not told, it's probably because that person think you're not interested, because they're boyfriend issues, or family issues, or school issues.
Some personal stuff, true, is held back because the person who it concerns want only tell the person he or she trusts the most.
I'm not going to lie, I like drama. Sometimes I feed it. I love arguing with people, especially when I'm totally and utterly sure that I'm right. I love yelling, and shouting, and forcing my opinions down people's throats, but it is RIDICULOUS to say that our group has a hierarchy.
People try to control (in this situation) because they care. Relationships within the group were discouraged because nothing worked out the first fifteen thousand times, and while I do, admittedly, think that it's a bit OTT, doesn't it show you that some people care about the stupid drama that others cause?
You know what? I don't even know what I'm saying. No one's going to agree with me, because most likely you all think Alex is right. EDIT: You all do, apparently. Thanks a bunch, guys.
Ohhh look at this. Alex says that I'm at the top of the hierarchy. Am I? No. I've been in the group for pretty much the longest, after my previous one turned to shit, but I don't consider myself above anyone. I love everyone the same. How can I consider myself at the top, anyway, when pretty much everyone is more intelligent than me? Is better off than me? Is more talented?
So, everything goes through Chrissy and I, eh? Do you know WHY? Because I ASK ABOUT SHIT. I like to know what's going on, what people's problems are, and if possible, I like to help, but consider above statement.
Or am I being a dictator without even realizing it?
Stupid question, Rose. Shut up. Of course you're not.
AHAHAHA.
HAHAHA.
HAHA.
I'm not actually laughing. That was internet-based maniac/depressed/anxious laughter.
Let's see. If you THINK that I'm (or anyone else) is being all controlling, TELL THEM. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.
I DON'T HAVE A GUN, THERE ARE NO GAS CHAMBERS, I LOVE YOU ALL EQUALLY. YOU CAN TELL HITLER TO STUFF HIS RED HOT POKER UP HIS ASS.
Don't actually do that. Ouch.
Fuck, now I'm rambling.
P.S. Thanks, Alex, for the blog-fodder.
HOW CAN YOU BE THE DICTATOR!
ReplyDeleteI AM THE DICTATOR!! SO RAWR!!!!
KISS MY HIGH AND MIGHTY ASS!!!!
XD
i have no idea what's going on aye
But i'm with you bro, Have fun on your trip
i miss you already! D=
There isn't one dictator. There's two groups who are slighty seperate from each other, not normally a problem, but when there is a problem, it's made obvious in one group and is only vague in the other. No-one asks what's going on because they feel privileged to be included in the big group at all, they're not used to having a lot of friends and they don't want it to all fall apart because they've been nosy. Because there is subconscious feelings of 'us/them', people feel as if it's none of their business, because they're not in the 'core' of the group and so they don't bother asking because they know from experience that all they'll get is an 'I'm just tired' or 'it's nothing major' or 'it's just this little thing, it's being sorted out'. Some people don't feel comfotable asking you or Chrissy about stuff because they actually don't know you all that well, and they're more comfortable asking someone else who they're closer to - except that person doens't know anything either, because they're in the same boat.
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with you, but I don't agree with Alex either. You're noth seeing it in black-and-white from your own perspectives. Neither of you have the same perspective as me or Jessica or Claire, or others.