All that old crap about a group dictatorship, me being excited about a caravaning holiday that ended up sucking, saying things like "oh i feel so much but i can't tell you because i have to hold myself back in case you judge me". Jesus Christ. Pathetic.
I don't know who still reads this blog. I don't know if anyone still cares. And I don't care about whether you read what I'm about to type, and release into the big world wide web.
- First of all, I missed an opportunity and I'm pretty fucking mad about that. I am like the Queen of Missed Opportunities. I could have a castle on an island where all I do is avoid potentially good situations in a subconcious effort to make myself unhappy. Most of what I've missed has to do with BOYS. I didn't tell one person how I really felt, and I confessed to another and completely avoided any subsequent consequenses. Because of this I've had a couple of years in which I've felt very conflicted and emotional, and I'm still unsure as to how those two people are feeling.
- I want to come home to New Zealand. I don't know why I let Mum book my flight home for Feb 4th, only two weeks before I leave for Wellington. I've been here for too long already and I feel like I need to home, where my people and my things are. England is great- it's beautiful, not too chilly anymore, cheap (mostly) and is the home of people who I haven't seen in a long time- but I'm a Kiwi at heart and I need to back on my homeland. Everything feels so far away right now.
I think that this is becoming my blog again. Well and truly.
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