When I went home over the holidays I was faced with a difficult decision. I didn't do very well... at all... in my exams last trimester which led to me failing three papers overall- even though my internal results were much better. Because of that I only have four papers now instead of seven, which is just enough but not much to rely on.
So my mum said to me, "I think going to university was a mistake. I don't think you're cut out for it."
It hurt me to hear that, because it's pretty much true. I wont deny that I don't have a very strong work ethic or that I'm even more tired, unhealthy and anti-social than I was at home. Hell, during my 2nd week of trimester 2 last week I missed classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and I didn't do any revision.
To top it all off the FHSS has decided that I'm not qualified for French after all (which is probably just their mistake, but if it isn't I'll have to chose another paper), so I'm really stressed.
I don't sleep or eat well, and people have almost stopped trying to talk to me. I haven't seen my "friend" Megan since I got back, and my neighbours, Emily, Monique and Larissa are the only people who I really talk to, when I see them.
I think after this year I'll either leave or rethink my degree. I just don't know what to do. I like it here in Wellington, but I'm much too easily distracted and stressed out and I have this huge debt already... something like $6-7000. It hurts my head just to think about it (so I don't- think about it, I mean).
I guess I'm waiting for some kind of epiphany or a second chance to swoop down and make everything better, which isn't a very good way to live.
x
Oh Rosie. =-( It is sad to see that you are doubting your life choices. My thought on the whole thing is this..... if you are missing so many classes, you may have to ask yourself: Are You Enjoying Uni? If you are just doing it because you feel as though you ought to..... then maybe you ought to think again, and look at what you actually want to do with your life. Remember, if you take a year off to do something else..... there's always the option of coming back! In the meantime, sending love your way. =-) xoxo
ReplyDeleteyour situation sounds so much like mine!
ReplyDeletewhat with our great life choices such as nutella from the jar, skipping classes & staying up all night then napping!
I wish I had some kind of brilliant advice or suggestions to give you but I don't.
I'll be thinking of you though & hoping things will all work out.
*hug*