aim for imperfection

The other day I read a quote by some author, I think it was Lionel Shriver, who said that perfect characters are boring because they're not real. Real people have problems and baggage. Authors shouldn't worry about creating a main character who is likeable, because perfect characters don't leave room for growth and improvement.

A good example, I think, is Nathaniel from the Amulet of Samarkand trilogy. I know it's a series for young adults, but Nathaniel wasn't perfect, and he improved. The same goes for Artemis Fowl, Katniss Everdeen, Harry Potter, Ellie Linton... at times you hate them, but it doesn't matter how unlikeable they can be because you realise that they could be real people.

So that's what I'm aiming for with Ava Thorne, the main character of my Nano novel. Although I haven't written anything in four days because I'm stuck :(

Something That Isn't NaNoWriMo.

I think it's time for a personal post :-)

I've been at home for about a month now. My room is back to the way I like it, my mum's cooking is better than I remember, and our dogs, which I missed, seem to be happy to have me back. Yesterday my dad drove down from Auckland to see me and my sisters. I haven't seen him since last December, before I left for England. Last night we went to the Rat Hole for dinner and today we're going to lunch and a movie (and dinner again). I may be going to Taupo on Monday to visit my grandma (Dad's mum). I haven't found a job but I do stuff at home to keep Mum from yelling at me, like cleaning the house and mowing lawns. I'll be getting my license soon too. Other than all that there's not a lot going on! :)

come as you are

“I get cross, then sad, and finally end up turning my heart inside out, and keep trying to find a way to become what I’d like to be and what I could be if….if only there were no other people in the world.”

—	Anne Frank

I've been at home for about three weeks now, and I have to say I haven't accomplished much. I've been to some group gatherings and just recently saw my best friend for the first time since last December. I've mowed some lawns, cleaned the house a couple times, listened to a lot of music, watched some movies... not a lot. I haven't lost any weight, found a job or a flat, or improved my eating or sleeping habits. My mum is starting to get really fed up. Every day she's on my case, but I just don't feel motivated. If I were able to do whatever I wanted, I'd find a cozy job in a little bookstore, live in an apartment with all my books and my cats and maybe a dog, and ignore the rest of humanity (apart from a select few) for the rest of my life. I don't know what happened, but at some point I decided that I don't much care for the whole idea of how life is "supposed" to be. What's the point of everything? What does it mean? Yeah, I know. Whatever.

I can't do much until I have a driver's license anyway, and that's going to take a while.

I just want a fun summer unhindered by responsibility. I miss the high school years so much during times like these. I wish I could go back two years, to the end of year 12. Go on camp again. Change some things. Work harder. Do something other than wasting time at university. Take a gap year after school finishes, and then think about uni. I feel like I've ruined my life already, even though I'm still in my teens, and people keep telling me there's nothing wrong with being temporarily misdirected. I don't know.

I have no idea what to do now.